Selfish love letter..

23rd January 2010, your 23rd birthday.

I`m sorry I have to be far away from you. I`m sorry..
I`m sorry I`m too lazy to buy telephone card so I did not call you in the middle of the night..
I`m sorry I`m not the first one to say happy birthday to you..
I`m sorry I did not say any wishes until you ask for it..
I`m sorry for being such as a very bad girlfriend ever for you..
I`m so sorry for always make you insecure..
I`m so sorry for always make you sad..
I`m so sorry for several big fight that made you loss control of yourself..
I`m so sorry.. that you seems like always begging, asking me to love you as much as you always do it for me..

I`m so sorry that in this relationship we are not even.. You too much give and so do I.. too much take.

I`m sorry.. I`m sorry.. I don`t know how many sorrys i have to say to you. For 4 years of whatever that you always give to me to make me happy. I`m so sorry.

All I can say is sorry.. sorry.. sorry.. I don`t want you to be afraid of loosing me, that always make you weak and i always hate it.　And i realize that all of this is not your fault, i made you feel it. My attitude made it. I`m a selfish jerk girlfriend. I knew it since i asked you to be mine selfishly.

I don`t know what to do now.. When you ask my feelings.. I don`t know.. I don`t wanna loose you.. And i really do not wanna loose you. That is all i can say.. Not changed.. like 4 years ago.. when you asked me, i just could say that I need you.. selfishly..

And this is me.. Just can say sorry for you.. selfishly..